Dear bloody diary
by Fantony
Summary: "I'm only writing to you because Father asked me where the diary he had bought me for my last birthday was, and was very disappointed in me when he realised I had used you as a wedge to keep my desk from shaking." The key to Malfoy's thoughts. HPDM slash
1. August 31 1996

_**PLOT**__: "I'm only writing to you because Father asked me where the (very expensive but ugly violet) diary he had bought me for my last birthday was, and was very disappointed in me when he realised I had used you as a wedge to keep my desk from shaking." This is the key to Draco's thoughts. _

_**WARNINGS:**__ This will probably contain HPDM (which means Harry/Draco slash) in future chapters, maybe one-sided love, can't decide yet, but don't say you haven't been warned! :) _

_**NOTE**__: This obviously won't follow the book's plot, or not entirely at least! _

_**Please keep in mind that I'm French, hence the English mistakes! ;)**_

**August 31. 1996**

Dear bloody diary,

Let me get this straight, you and I will never be friends. Never. Ever. So don't expect any "How are doing?" or "Take care!" from me!

I mean, you're just a bunch of empty pages. Well, you probably have more conversation than Crabbe and Goyle put together, but still.

I'm only writing to you because Father asked me where the _(very expensive but ugly violet)_ diary he had bought me for my last birthday was, and was very disappointed in me when he realised I had used you as a wedge to keep my desk from shaking. I'd rather not imagine what would happen if he'd discover I actually use last Christmas pink cashmere sweater to polish my broomstick (No need to laugh you dirty perv, I'm really talking about the handle of my broom).

Seriously though, a _pink_ sweater and a diary. He does know I'm a guy, right? I'm starting to think he's getting a bit senile.

Anyway, he thinks it's a good thing to confide my thoughts and my goals to you, to keep some track of my Hogwarts life (so what's the point of getting you at the end of my fifth year? That, I didn't dare to ask). I think it's rubbish, but he threatened me to deprive me of my pocket money, which would mean no galleons to buy my hair-spray, so it's not like I have a choice.

So, whether you like it or not, we're kinda stuck together and I don't even know what I can tell you... I have such an exciting life I don't know where to start...

Oh, yeah. This is the end of the summer holidays. Had a great time in French Polynesia with Father and Mother. Apart from that sunburn on my nose. I hate sunshine. I have a very fragile and delicate skin, you know? And if you ever compare it to redheads' skin, you're a dead book.

Anyway, end of holidays means new term at Hogwarts. Tomorrow, I'll get the train and come back to the biggest den of idiots of the wizarding world. Oh joy! Fortunately enough, I'm there to raise the bar!

I've done a "Do not forget list" so that, as its name suggests, I don't forget anything when I pack my bags this afternoon. Here it goes:

1. My wand. Can always come in handy. Especially to hex Potter.

2. That stupid eagle-owl. I would have rather had a snake. Much classier. But I guess he wouldn't have been much useful to bring me Mother's home-made muffins. I once wished I had a cat, just so that it would eat the Weasel's ugly rat. But his rat turned out to be that brainless Peter Pettigrew. Awkward.

3. Mudbloodinator. That's my stuffed rabbit. Have got him for has long as I can remember. Well, he doesn't really look like a rabbit anymore, as he's lost both of his ears in a fight. Yeah, he's a badass. Well, I always cast disillusionment charm on him to make sure no one finds him.

4. My prefect badge. Can't wait to scare the first years!

5. My broom, obviously. How do you want me to win the quidditch cup, otherwise?

Well, the list's actually much longer than that but I can't be bothered to copy everything out. I've already written twice as much as I did for my longest "Care of magical creatures" essay, and that means a lot!

_**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! :)**_

**Published on August 28. 2011**


	2. September 1

**September.1 1996**

Mood: horrible.

The train was late. I bet it was Potter's fault. Don't ask me why, I just know. It's always his fault anyway.

Then, Mother kissed me goodbye and called me her "little pumpkin". In front of a bunch of first years! Meaning I've lost all of my credibility as a prefect! And the term hasn't even started yet. Great. Just. Great.

Pansy Parkinson asked me if I had missed her over the summer. I replied "Excuse me but, who are you again?" Apparently, she didn't find it funny. Women have no sense of humour. Still, that didn't prevent her from sitting next to me in the train, but at least, she didn't try to put her wet tongue into my mouth just like last year. Disgusting.

Apart from that, nothing has changed.

Crabbe and Goyle still are pathetic, Longbottom looks even more idiot than two months ago, Granger still is... Granger, and no need to say Potter already annoys the hell out of me. He got his hair cut so now the first thing you spot when you look at him is his stupid scar. I'm sure he did that so that the first years immediately know who he is. Bloody attention seeker. I have a small scar on my thumb and I don't make a big fuss about it, for Merlin's sake!

Then there's that Weasley girl and her ugly red hair. Hopefully the last one of the family. After seven kids, I guess her parents finally managed to perform the contraception charm. That, or her mother did the world a favour and became frigid. It's pretty hard to tell who's the dumbest one of the family, but I'd say she's got a leg up on the others for she's been daft enough to confess her retarded preteen's secrets to the Dark Lord's diary during her first year. Such a prat!

Hey, err... wait a minute... How can I be sure you're not him?

Hello, is anybody here? Are you Tom Riddle? If so, let me tell you one thing: you kick ass, man! No, really, I'm one of your biggest fans! Hello?

...

Well, you're obviously not Tom Riddle. You're just a stupid violet diary. I knew it. I just wanted to be sure...

Anyway, let's get back to the Weasley girl. You should see that stupid look on her face whenever Potter is around. Merlin! If the two of them end up together and have babies, I mean, red hair AND spectacles, that'd really suck!

What else? Oh, yeah, the sorting ceremony! Don't mention it! That creepy hat's always scared the hell out of me! Especially when it sorts the ugliest and dumbest looking brats into Slytherin! I'm the only one Salazar would be proud of.

That's all for today...

Ps. Have I told you Potter sucks?

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for your time &amp; your kind reviews! :)<strong>_

**Published on December.2 2011**


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